Leaping into 2015

As I peer around the corner at 2015, I have to catch my breath a little. These last few years have been crazy in ways both good and bad.

The first thing is that I feel a lot better now than I did one year ago and that is more wonderful than words can express. The last time I rang in the new year, I didn’t drink, couldn’t have caffein or sugar (no chocolate!), and I stayed away from vinegar, legumes, most fruit, most dairy, anything not fresh caught or grass fed. Holy moly. This year, my daily coffees feel like gifts from heaven, I do indulge in the occasional sweet thing (hello the 10 lbs I had lost, how I didn’t miss you but at least I feel good), and will be enjoying one or two drinks with friends tonight. I still get hit with a massive headache on occasion, but the overall improvement is notable.
Sidebar: I plan to one day write about my health journey; it’s an emotional topic for me because it has been very difficult for me to keep a positive outlook when all I could think about was the constant pressure in my forehead. But one day soon, I will take a few deep breaths and I will write.

Flowers and words of love

Words of love and Cuban flowers in April

Now let’s look at how drastically a life can change over the course of 2 years — When I was planning this blog in the fall of 2012, I was single. Really really single. Once in a while, I’d meet a cool guy, but, for the most part, it had gotten exhausting to go on dates and try to get to know new people who didn’t really grill my cheese. Most of the time, curling up with a good book was a more riveting experience than chatting with someone for the requisite 90 minutes. Thank goodness for the occasional thrill of a bonafide affair to help counter balance all of the first dates with duds.

Intrinsic to my single life, was my dedication to being an urbanite. I rented a big funky appartment in a trendy neighbourhood, and I walked to work, to the fruiterie, to the butcher’s, to yoga. I knew the ins and outs of transit system, and I had a good knowledge of cab fares. If I was invited to attend anything not within the city’s inner core, I couldn’t believe the GALL of some people to hold such very inconvenient events! If it required a car, I was a no-show, point final. Furthermore, I definitely felt superior as I walked to work past overflowing buses and snail’s pace traffic. Well well, look who’s eating her words (and smug thoughts) now as I invite friends to drive 30 minutes into the hills for a visit. What a difference a year makes!

The everyday beauty of country life surprises me still

The everyday beauty of country life surprises me still

Take a deep breath, look back, leap ahead–

2012: Grand Opening
That year, I learned to open up and not be so protective of my space and autonomy, a very hard shift to make for this independent, self-preserving gal. It paid off big time when, at the end of year, I met Le Monsieur. Had we met a couple of years earlier, I think my sh*t would have gotten in the way. Opening up to someone can bring up all insecurities and my life was pretty comfortable as it was; it would have been easy to just chill and stick with the status quo. The other big leap I took in 2012 was the creation of this here blog. Putting my voice (and face!) out there in cyberspace where everyone could see it was scary, but I love writing more than I could have ever imagined. Risks, baby.

2013: The Struggle
I’d had health ups and downs since about 2008, but I figured gluten had been my problem because quitting it did bring positive effects. However, come June, I got a headache that basically settled in for the long haul. By October, I’d taken a short leave from my job to focus on nutrition and healing. There’s nothing more frustrating that not knowing what’s causing the pain or how to fix it, and those close to you feel even more powerless. I’m extremely grateful for the love and patience of my partner during that time; it really put a strain on our young relationship and forced us to either rally or break apart forever.

2014: Revolution!
The issues of 2013 continued into the next year, but I was encouraged by small improvements in my health. Also, by the spring, living apart had become a real inconvenience and we kicked our house search into high gear. Though the thought of altering everything about my lifestyle was scary as hell, the possibility of staying stuck in the familiar due to fear of the unknown was worse. So I did it. From city life to country life, from solo living to duo (and sometimes trio — Monsieur has a teenaged child) living, from only thinking of me, to considering others, it has required a monster adaptation, for sure. But I would never turn back.

Shmoo and me settling into our new home: 2014

Shmoo and me settling into our new home: 2014

2015: Power
Yes, power. If I’ve realised anything in these last couple of years is that most things are within my control. I’ve let stress and outside factors get the better of me too often in the past. A tendency towards perfectionism can make life pretty complicated at times. But there are a few habits I’ve taken on that help make everything more pleasant.

  1. Exercise: I must do it intensely for at least a few minutes each day even if I’m in pain and even if it often makes me feel worse in the short term. I know that consistency brings sweet relief and increased energy after a few days.
  2. Breathe: Yoga, meditation, contemplation, these practices keep me connected to what’s truly important.
  3. Create: I wrote about this last time, about the flow.
  4. Sleep: One of the biggest changes in my new life is how early I go to bed! I’m having a hard time remembering what it was like to always be planning my weekends — where I’ll go [usually after 11 PM], with whom, and who I might meet. Now I’m happy to hang out by the fire and be in bed by 9:30 on a Friday evening. Who am I? Well, I’m someone who is much better rested than I used to be, for starters.
  5. Focus only on what I can control: Work is where worry and perfectionism can really get the better of me, and for no good reason. Though it takes up many hours and provides financial freedom, my job can’t be the centre of my life. Sure, I would like to be paid to dance, blog, and read fashion magazines, but it ain’t gonna happen. So I’ll just keep working at, and hopefully advancing in, my career without letting it define or oppress me.

Do I have any new year’s resolutions this time around? Not really. I’ve only had moderate success with the last few and I feel I’ve already made a fresh start recently. I think 2015 is the year of listening to my body. A friend once said she listens to her body except when her body wants a Kit Kat. Too right! Sometimes the body says one thing and the challenge is getting to the underlying message. So I plan to be more attentive to these nuances… the body whisperer.

What are your resolutions?

Comments

  1. “Take a deep breath, look back, leap ahead” — that has been my motto for a long time!!
    I allow myself to look back to learn from the experience, but I am not allowed to wallow… I look back, have a think, then I turn around face forward and keep going. Not easy to do… has taken me years of practice … I’m better at it now then I was a few years ago… 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: