Life is Long — Hurrah!

There we were on a muggy Saturday morning lounging on my second floor balcony in our underwear, feeling pretty relaxed. After some gentle encouragement, I got up to make us some coffee. As always, I poured whipping cream into the mugs. That’s when Mon Amour told me that, prior to meeting me, he never put cream in his coffee, but that now he wouldn’t pass it up. “Life is too short to drink skim milk!” I boldly proclaimed.

Having resettled into our spots on the balcony, coffees in hand, Mon Amour sweetly returned my declaration with “Life is too short to be alone.”

A perfect morning ritual

A perfect morning ritual

This got me thinking about an artist acquaintance of my mother’s who had said to her that life is long when she wondered if she was too old to start learning to sculpt. Yes! How revolutionary — life is long. It’s a comforting thought, really. Most of us do have time to mess up, go down the wrong path, learn stuff, make changes, and then still get the chance to make new mistakes and do it all over again.

Life is short and it is long. Let’s examine:

Life is too SHORT to…

  • Drink skim milk, or consume anything “fat free,” really. Cream baby, all the way.
  • Be alone.
  • Be with the wrong person for any length of time. So be alone, but then when the right one shows up, don’t focus on the small unimportant details — life is too short.
  • Feel bad about your body. Exercise to feel strong and energized; otherwise, don’t worry about your wobbly bits.
  • Be sick. Two years ago, something was making me sick and it took a long time before I figured out it was gluten. Now, when I want to eat a delicious glutteny morsel, I have to ask myself if it’s really worth it. Sometimes, life really is too short not to enjoy a cheddar, apple, maple, pork belly pancake. But, most of the time, that sugary square my co-worker made is so not worth it. (And life is ALWAYS too short to get a tummy ache for a timbit, ugh.)
  • Be miserable in a cubicle. If you’re not living your life’s dream but you need an income, then by all means work the cubicle job. But DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. Pursue your bliss in your off hours. You don’t have a dream to chase and you just want to retire so you can escape the 9 to 5? Sister, you’re sadder than that cubicle — time for introspection.
Let that Don Draper look-alike make you eggs

Let that Don Draper look-alike make you eggs

  • Be too insecure to sleep with that sexy thing you think is much too hot for you. Hey, he’s hitting on you — How many more clues do you need?!
  • Buy cheap toilet paper. Seriously, your ass deserves the best.
  • Live in constant noise. Noise pollution is just as toxic as garbage pollution, in my opinion. Look for the quiet, the peaceful.
  • Stress out over others’ choices. I’m still trying to learn this: the world’s problems are not my problems.
  • Try and please people for whom you care not. Please yourself, please those you love. Let the haters hate; it’s what they do.
  • Run on a treadmill regularly. You’re going nowhere!

Life is LONG enough to…

  • Read Tolstoy. That Anna Karenina is beautiful and profound, no joke.
Sophie Marceau as Anna Karenina (1997)

Sophie Marceau as Anna Karenina (1997)

  • Develop a personal style. How you are on the outside is a reflection of who you are on the inside, whether you plan it or not. I once left a ring in the bathroom at work and it was returned to me by the person who found it and thought “that looks like Brenda.” Style can change and evolve, but it should be a combination of what you like + what suits you best.
  • Accumulate savings. Life might just be really really long! And then you’ll need the cash.
  • Have children if you want them. From what I understand, there’s never a really good time to have kids. But if you’re just dying to care for a tiny human, then seize the moment — inseminate, adopt, go get that turkey baster…
  • Experiment. Maybe you’ll really love pole dancing. I didn’t, but I’m glad I tried.

And now back to my regularly scheduled vacation… life is too short not to take breaks.


  1. I totally agree with the not skimping on “fatty” sweet things. If I can eat it and enjoy it—I will! I have plenty of time to dance it off later on 🙂

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